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Teaching Your Children Math, Writing, and Reading Skills to Be More Successful Students
Sometimes the roles of coach and student don’t come naturally to parents and children. However, there are a few simple guidelines you can follow to create a fun and effective training relationship with your child so that he enjoys learning with you and learns faster.
You can be a parent who is homeschooling children or a parent who wants to help their children improve in the classroom. Whether you are homeschooling or your child is in school, I encourage you to invest time and effort in developing a good coaching relationship with your child. When you work harmoniously together, learning math, reading and writing skills becomes easier and more fun for them, and helping them becomes a pleasure instead of a chore.
For those who send their child to school, recent research has found that parental involvement in children’s learning is a key factor in them doing well in school. Results showed that parental involvement shapes the child’s identity as a learner and sets higher expectations for the child (Ally Bull, Keren Brooking, & Renee Campbell, 2008). I encourage you to participate in your child’s learning. Getting involved in supporting your children’s education requires some time and patience on your part, and the expectation that they practice the skills they are learning at school at home. You can extend and develop your child’s reading, writing and math skills beyond what is possible in school where your child has limited teacher time. You might be thinking that this involves hours and hours of extra work. Conversely, regular short bursts of time, a few days a week, will make a noticeable difference in your child’s school performance.
working inside clear roles helps you work well together. The role of coach and student should be very clearly understood by both you and your child. Your child will learn from you by following your instructions and doing the agreed work. However, they should be in control of the lesson to some extent; for example, they could be given options such as when they might need a break or which subject they want to start.
When training your child, remember that you are both learning to work with each other in a different way. The role of coach and student is often very different from the role you have as a parent or carer and child. For example, negotiating as two (relatively) equal people, whatever your age, is vital here for a good working relationship. As a parent you may not often negotiate with the child, but as a coach, negotiation is very helpful to your working relationship and their “buy-in” to coaching.
Your child often knows this what reading, writing and math skills they want and need to learn, and when they might need a little break or have had enough of learning about new skills and knowledge. Keep this in mind and negotiate so that they both agree on the amount of work and time they work with you. Don’t let them dictate the terms here though, you also need to be happy with the amount of work you do. Create a win-win situation for both of you.
Organize your life in advance a little more than usual. Allow plenty of time for the coaching session, a little more than you expect to need, so you don’t feel rushed. Whenever possible, arrange meals and other activities and children around coaching, rather than fitting coaching around other commitments. When this is not possible, you can train in small chunks of time, for example when you are waiting for another child or driving in the car. Above all, training should be fun, not frustrating for either of you.
Establish a routine. Routines anchor you and your child when they are reluctant to learn and/or you are tired and may not feel like training. When you use simple, clear, and consistent routines, you and your child learn to:
- Work has to be done even when you both don’t feel like it.
- The most recent learning will be reviewed first until it is understood before training any new skills or knowledge.
- Certain areas of reading, writing and math skills will always be covered.
You’ll both quickly understand that lack of focus, negative moods, and tiredness doesn’t mean you’re procrastinating and you don’t have to hold yourself back from a workout. Set boundaries clearly through discussion with your child, and he will work more gratefully with you.
Have a fixed routine whenever possible to create a comfortable and work-focused environment.
- Make a drink for you and your child. You can also offer food but keep it simple so they are not tempted to play with it. Maybe it can be a special drink and a type of food that is only offered when training.
- Have a fixed place where you work, comfortable and without distractions for both of you. It can be the kitchen table, but have it completely clear.
- You have a fixed time to start and finish working together. Have a watch available for both of you to see. You should be prepared to start each training session at the same time, even if your child is not ready at first.
- Minimize distractions. Switch your phone to answering machine and turn off your cell phone. If possible, other people should generally not be allowed into the training space, especially at first when the child will have more difficulty concentrating.
Offer options. Choice is a magical ingredient when it comes to training. In the beginning, if possible, keep the options you offer to no more than two alternatives. For example:
- Ask your child if he wants to start with math or reading first.
- Ask them if they want to practice some more addition or keep learning more subtractions.
- When writing stories, give suggestions, but let the child make the final decisions about the writing topic.
At first, the child may take a little time to choose, so give him enough time to choose. They will choose more quickly as time goes by and develop more confidence. Aim for joint decision-making and if you disagree, do so respectfully. Never push or bully them into choosing. When they are very hesitant to choose a book or writing topic, help them but don’t choose for them just yet.
Use the same or similar words every time you encourage or directm. It is helpful to repeat the same phrases and ideas often to reinforce habits and routines as well as helpful attitudes. This saves energy and gives them clear messages. Keep these messages short and to the point. Proof:
- “Let’s get the hardest work out of the way first and then do something we love.”
- “Practice this addition/multiplication tables/spelling word so you can remember it easily.”
- “Five minutes to training time so get your things ready now please.”
Ultimately, your child is deeply interested. One of the most important attitudes you can have towards your child is that of “interest” in him as another human being. Listen with interest and respect, like one intelligent person to another, to what they say. Know the music, books, sports games that interest them. Ask them questions about these to refresh your own knowledge. Children often know more about the latest and most interesting developments and can teach us.
- Remember what they say about their interests, so you can use that information later when they’re writing, or doing math, or writing words, or deciding what to read next. Also, you can compare their persistence to successfully learn to jump or skate, for example, with the use of practice and determination to learn reading, writing, and math skills.
- That they have a few minutes each session to talk about what interests them; maybe when they’re taking a short break or maybe at the start of the session while you’re settling in and getting ready for training.
When you both enjoy the training time, you will find that it is much easier for your child to learn and the training process will work more smoothly. People learn better and train better when they are relaxed and having fun with each other.
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